Gravity
by MarieJohnson123
Summary: Alex is in love. Norma is broken. The world is a hard place. Who's gonna win? Who's gonna be happy? Will love find a way?
1. Chapter 1

He was just removing his tongue from her body and scaling up from underneath the covers to find her sated expression. Reaching a hand up to wipe his mouth, he lay next to her and give her a look from the corners of his warm hazel eyes. "You good?"

"Yeah," she said in one singular breath that simply took his own away. It was always quite the sight to see after he made her cum. Her eyes were always a darker shade of blue and her chest was beet red. Secretly, he loved the effect he had on her.

He returned a nod her way and rose up from the sheets to tug his dark work pants back on.

"God, those are so wrinkled. How is anyone supposed to take you seriously when you're giving them tickets?" she laughed, once again making him get even more attached to her than he already was. She was like a kid. And he bathed in it.

"Never learned to iron," he mumbled, tugging up the zipper to his jeans with a small huff, "Didn't ever see a use for it."

"Yeah," she announced with a signature sarcastic eye roll, "Because looking disheveled is always better than looking crisp and put together."

He sat at the foot of her bed and placed one work boot after the other on his feet, "We really gonna sit here and argue about the appearance of my pants, Norma? Because that doesn't sound like something people do after they fuck. Especially after I just made you-"

She let out a disgruntled noise and rose from the covers, "God you can be such an ass after we do it. I don't even know why we keep this shit up anyway."

He observed her in the same routine that always followed their daily sexual encounters. She would sit at her vanity and brush out her sloppy curls. Then nimble fingers would spread cold cream all over the beautiful porcelain of her face, taking the sweaty makeup off. She would always apply another coat of mascara and some pink lipstick. Presto, she was back to her same old self again. If he was being completely honest, Alex totally preferred her sex look. It was...dirty. Dirty in contrast to the Ms. Pristine that he knew oh so well.

"Because I think you like it," he said with a crooked smile. Sometimes he would be like this afterwards and Norma would secretly enjoy it. The Alex Romero she never got to see unless they were in the middle of sex or afterwards. Other than that, it was the same stoic fellow that went around town giving orders and went home to stone cold, microwave induced meals.

"I'm not one to get rid of a decent lay," she said, her eyes were devious as she left the vanity to put her robe on, shielding him from her lacy bra and panty set.

He scoffed and moved closer to her, "Decent is all I get? I think your reaction says different," Alex attempted to wrap his arms around her waist but she shook him away, moving to the other side of the room. This was the part he hated most about their encounters.

"You think whatever you want to, Sheriff. Just don't flatter yourself too much," she went on making her bed and focusing on the way the sheets were folded into the mattress.

He looked down to check the time on his phone, "I gotta get going. Paperwork and stuff," he stuffed the device into his pocket and reached down to grab his keys, they fell to the floor due to the eagerness they both sprung onto one another.

"Okay. I guess I'll see you around or something?" she asked, knowing that they would likely be in this very same spot within the next couple of days.

He slowly paced over to her and grabbed at her arm gently, "You know you'll be seeing me. You wouldn't be able to last one whole day without all of this," he joked while tracing his fingers down the silk of her robe. Without even thinking about it, he leaned in to kiss her but she just turned her lips far from him. He could feel his heart sinking.

"Alex," she whined, tearing her eyes away from the bed sheets to finally look at him, "We've been over this before. No kissing. Right?"

He tore away from her with an eye roll of his own, "Yeah, yeah, Norma. I'd hate to break your rules. I'll stick to fucking you from behind and trying my hardest not to look at you while you're riding me."

The last thing she heard was the bedroom door slam behind him as she fell to the bed. Her tears went unheard as he left to go back to the mundane lifestyle that he was unfortunately accustomed to.

As he drove back to the station, Alex was deep in thoughts he didn't want to delve into. But it happened. It always happened after he saw Norma. She was an enigma to him. And no matter what she did to him, he always seemed to take her back. They weren't even dating...well, not anymore. He would never be able to link himself to a woman that caused him such wrenching heartache. He knew he didn't deserve that.

But he put himself out there to still be vulnerable to her charms and power. As much as he wanted to say he wasn't, he was. He was so completely and entirely in love with the woman who ruined their future. All of the things they could have had were flushed down the toilet and Alex should have accepted it and moved on. Maybe taken up with the accounted who always praised him for the size of his dick. Or maybe attempted conversation with the barista that always severed him his morning coffee, she had a pretty smile after all. But no woman would ever entice him like Norma. She was everything. A grown up who still had all of the magic of a little girl on Christmas morning.

The arrangement they had should have been simple but he was finding it harder and harder to stick to. All he wanted was to slide a ring on her finger and stand with her at the altar. But much like everything else in his life, this was no fairy tale. It was a broken road filled with heartache and the consistent yearning for something that would never be. She fucked up and now he had a hole in his heart that could only be filled by her company. Never once did he think the thing that reminded him of pain could also feel like home. But that's how love is, right?

Norman. Norman. Norman. Norman. Norman. Norman. Alex? Norman. Norman. Norman. Norman. Clean Room 5. Norman. Norman. Norman. Norman. Norman. If I stuck with what was, where would I be right now? Alex. Alex? Norman. Norman. Past. Future. Norman.

And so on.

These were the thoughts that trickled through Norma's head on a rainy Wednesday afternoon when the house was spotless, she had already eaten, she couldn't nap, and her encounter with Alex was over. Her son was not there. He was gone. She didn't take pleasure in watching Funny Girl anymore. And her hair had grown longer from depression. She was skinnier because the only thing that would hold in her stomach was PB & J, apples, and the occasional side helping of green beans.

She remembered when the trouble initially happened and she was destroyed. They put her on suicide watch because the only thing she could think of was blowing her brains out to the tune of a Patience and Prudence song that she sang ages ago.

She remembered how Alex would pace up the large amount of concrete to be at her side. He would cut up green beans and put them on a plate for her. He would bring her afternoon tea that she would barely sip, she would fight for a scorching glass of scotch instead. He'd play Breakfast at Tiffany's every night for her because Hepburn made her happy. His hand would always caress her back while she tipped sideways on the couch, staring at the wall thinking of what it would be like to die.

She remembered all of the black surrounding her on the day of passing. She remembered the feeling of the doctors hands creeping inside of her to subtract. She remembered the sound of glass hitting the wall. She remembered how angry he was. She remembered how he said he never wanted to see her again. She remembered the blood dripping on the bathroom floor. She remembered being admitted and staring at the orange hospital bracelet day in and day out. She remembered the flowers and the man who sat by her bedside every night.

She remembered. She remembered. She remembered. She remembered.

And that was the problem. She couldn't not remember. Every piece of suffering and pain was on loop in her mind like a VHS tape being replayed over and over. She felt like a locked door. She was trying to let Alex in but never really letting him in. She was trying to contact her one son but could never force herself to feign interest despite how much she loved him. Sadness will do that to you.

To her, the world was concrete. There was no color anymore. Then again, the hard part was over, right? The doctors no longer kept a 24 hour watch on her. She didn't live in a hospital. She didn't rely on anyone for hope. She washes her hair and goes into town and buys groceries and cooks and sometimes sings and fucks. That makes everything okay, right? Life was supposed to be monotonous, right?

Right?


	2. Chapter 2

Alex would have given the world and all of it's belongings for what seven months in the past. He was sitting in his office and squeezing the tension ball that somehow made him stay sane among all of the chaos. He remembered how his hands gripped the same ball when Norma flung into his office seven months earlier in a flourished frenzy.

He would have never guessed that the memory would bring him as much heartache as it did but he could hear the artery tearing into two equal halves through his sheriff shirt as he replayed the vivid afternoon in his mind. Instead of slipping into another reverie, Alex slipped his hand into the bottom shelf of his desk, the one he always told Regina was off limits to all except him. He pulled out the half full bottle of Dewars and chugged until the memory slipped away and the idea of Norma came into focus. God he really was turning into his father. Oh well...it had to be five somewhere, right? Plus the shift was near over and he deserved a hearty drink.

Norma. Louise. Bates.

A goddamn enigma that was a still frame in his head. It was a weary road to travel down, especially when he was hazy from liquor. Then he started to do dangerous things...like thinking. And getting horny as hell.

Norma. Louise. Bates.

Her floral dress. Her hips. Nose. Blonde loose curls. Her pear shaped behind that he never got tired of looking at. The smell of apples and a warm winter's night whenever she appeared. The feeling of forever when he entered her. Her moan- oh god, this broad really was a drug...and he needed a fix. Now.

His phone slipped into his hand as he clinked back the rest of the bottle, he lazily tossed the glass in the garbage can as he dialed those numbers. It was predictable. Could've been on speed dial at this fucking rate.

Norma could be ignorant but she was never stupid. She knew from the stench of his breath that Alex had been drunk. And she also knew that he needed her. That's what he relayed on the phone, it was like clockwork. He drank until he could slip into a playful, vulnerable state and she was the hangover cure. The elixir. The one thing that made him better.

When he showed up to her house and already started unbuckling his pants before she fully opened the door, the intent was clear and recognizable. He wanted her. He wanted to be near her. He wanted to _fuck_ her. She sighed and took his hand, jogging them up the stairs and into her bedroom.

"You're so fucking hot," he said, tugging his pants all the way down and kicking them to the side as he went to the mattress. His hazy eyes were looking her up and down like they always did. He grabbed her hand and pulled her down to him, settling back with a sigh. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms as she straddled him.

"Rough night at the office?" she murmured, observing the clear pain on his face. She didn't know how to make it better and she knew better than to ask because in her mind, the answer to why he was worked up was obvious. He did this often. It was routine by now. Last time she'd asked, it didn't end well. And Norma was in no mood for an argument.

He rose up and tightened his grip on her arms. She wasn't scared. She knew as much as he wanted to hate fuck her in the moment, he'd never hurt her. That's what this was. Plain and simple. It was gonna be a hate fuck. Because he'd rather fuck me than say fuck you right? Right.

"You bet," he slurred, flipping her over and unzipping her dress from behind. She reached down to slide it off, revealing her undergarments. He scoffed with angst and flicked a the strap of the lacy purple bra he'd never seen her wear before. "Buy this for someone new?"

She rolled her eyes and took his head in her hands, "How bout," she began intently, reaching her hands into his boxers and finding what she was ready to stroke, "You just stop asking the hard questions and fuck me already, huh?"

"Jesus," he groaned, his eager hand reached over to flick her bedside light off. No lights. No eye contact. No kissing. He opted on leaning down to lick along the length of her collarbone instead.

"Yeah," she muttered, letting her head fall back on the pillow, "Just like that."

He reached into the bed stand drawer to grab a condom and placed it on himself clumsily. It'll do, he thought as he slid into her. They were missionary which he knew Norma hated. She stopped him mid-thrust.

"Hold on there, Sheriff. Why don't you flip me over and fuck me from behind?" she asked, her voice sounding like a beg which turned him on even more.

"God dammit," he said in frustration, letting his fingertips drill into her hips as he flipped her on her stomach. His hand linked in her hair and he tugged it while he slid into her. He pounded relentlessly into her as he groaned. He could hear her stifled little moans against the pillow. She drove him wild even when she wasn't trying.

"You like being fucked by me, huh?" he grunted as he ground into her, he made sure to pull her hair extra hard on that one.

She arched her backside up and let out a guttural moan as she nodded. It wasn't a response and Alex didn't like that one bit. "Tell me you like it, you dirty little whore," he gritted through his teeth.

She reached down and rubbed herself when she felt the temperature in the room rising. She loathed it when he talked to her like an animal but she knew why. He hated her. But he couldn't get enough. He couldn't stop. And part of her reveled in it.

"I fucking love it," she barked, meeting him backwards with every thrust he threw at her. He let go of her hair and grasped at her hips, plunging her backwards.

She let out a scream when he started moving her to please himself, "Yes! Give it to me," she purred, coming close to the climax. When he swatted her hand away to rub her where she needed it most, Norma flew off the handle. She moaned his name into the disappearing air as she came hard.

"Oh fuck!" he exclaimed drunkenly as he spilled inside of her. When he realized what happened and slowed to a stop, forgetting the idea of pumping a few final times. "Fuck, fuck...fuck," he said, pulling out of her to see the damage. It. Slipped. Off.

"Oh my god," she said, rising out of the doggystyle position that she was accustomed to. "Did you just? You just came inside me," she said, looking at him like he was satan himself.

He put his head in his hands and looked down to find the useless piece of rubber that had slid off beforehand, cursing himself, "Norma, It was a fucking accident, I didn't mean-"

She slapped him across the face before he could even finish the sentence. Norma rose from the bed and ran to the bathroom. He could hear the shower starting and took it as a cue to leave. Immediately. He tried to remind himself to savor the few minutes of pleasure they shared because it would certainly never happen again.

With a sigh and a drink on his mind, he slipped out of the bedroom with his head hung low.

Norma let the shower head beam inside of her, trying to get all and any contents out even though she knew it didn't work like that. For months, their arrangement was going fine. The rules were always followed and things had worked well...until now. The number one rule above all else? Never cum inside. Ever. Not ever.

She had the doctor insert the little birth control stick in her arm not more than four months ago. And then she bought five boxes of condoms, perfectly Alex's size, to sit in her nightstand. She kept three boxes of pregnancy tests under her bathroom sink just to make sure when her anxiety came about. It was foolproof. But he came inside of her. Alex didn't have a condom on. And that scared Norma senseless.

She wasn't stupid, though. She knew the stick did some of the work. But a 98% accuracy rate was not good enough for her. She wanted a 115% chance of never getting stuck in that position. She couldn't handle it. Not mentally. Not physically. Not one bit.

She let out a huff and exited the shower to grab her phone. She sent the text and walked back to bed to clean up the shame that was left behind. It was time for a wash of sheets.

 **Norma**

 **7:27 pm** _You better show up on this doorstep in the next 45 minutes with Plan B or else we won't see each other ever again._

 **7:30 pm** _This was not on the fucking schedule. I can't fucking believe you. Show a little respect for me, would you?_

Alex slammed his phone on the passenger seat and pounded his tired head against the steering wheel. She could be the biggest pain in the ass. He didn't mean it. He thought it was locked on tight like it always was ever since they started this goddamn arrangement. He rolled his eyes and started his journey to the drugstore where no one knew his name.

Precisely 45 minutes after she sent the text, Norma heard a something fall into the mailbox and a set of feet leaving her doorstep. She knew the sound of his footsteps too well. She opened the door and reached into the metal box to find what she was looking for. It was accompanied by a small chime coming from the pocket of her silk blue robe.

 **Alex**

 **8:16 pm** _I'm sorry I came inside of you._

She tossed the phone on the floor and slid her back down the wood of her front door with a sob. Why couldn't things just be normal? Why couldn't they just be normal? Why did she have to ruin things?

Why? Why? Why?


	3. Chapter 3

You find yourself sitting at a local hole in the wall where vodka sodas are only $4 a pop, which sounds amazing because the world is off its axis. Nothing feels right. Except liquor. Maybe Alex is rubbing off on you, in your mind you have no clue. You're deep in loathe and there's no way to stop it because you are well into the forest.

There's a bartender and you're bored. Blonde short hair, some fine wrinkles, a pair of blue eyes...almost like your own but more crystal clear. Maybe she sees things that way too. You certainly don't. Not now. And probably not ever. She keeps coming over to your end of the bar because the joint is fairly slow for a Wednesday night.

"Rough day?" she asks, while stocking some napkins and straws beneath you.

You scoff with a small eye roll as you make contact, "What gives you that idea?" your lips move with something to the tune of smartass. It's not unlike you at all. Better than talking about feelings.

"Mm," she grins, setting her elbows in front of you with a can do look on her face, "Well, this is your fifth drink and you have no one near you. Most of the time, when people come to get plastered they have a ride home or at the very least a companion. You're making a death wish."

You realize now that she's tall. She's almost athletic. Her fingernails are short and she's wearing cologne. It's obvious to her now. You nod, "Maybe I am, so what?"

"So what?" she laughs heartier this time, "So maybe I don't wanna be responsible for your death. I'm serving you after all."

"At least when and if I die, I don't have to feel guilty for throwing you to the wolves," you respond. The liquor in your glass disappears in one gulp as you eye the woman up and down.

"I hope the wolves are kind." She walks back to the taps after that one and you sit wondering why she's being so nice. You are a little buzzed and the bar is empty so you furrow your brows and run a hand through your hair as you watch her move.

"Are you hitting on me?"

In only an hour flat, you find yourself locking lips with your bartender in her apartment. It smells like pomegranates and she can hear paws of some kind clicking on the floor. When the woman reaches a hand up your shirt to feel you up, it occurs to you you've never had an experience with the same sex. You wonder what it'll be like. Life was short and you're sad.

The two of you wind up in her queen sized bed. She goes down on you first and you can't deny it's pretty good. Just not a man. Not your man. Not Alex. Her tongue felt like it had loads of experience behind it. The way her nails dug down the sides of her thighs was something she could get used to. Maybe she could teach Alex a thing or two.

When you kiss the mystery woman and taste yourself on her lips, you know it's your turn. The palms of your hands get clammy as hell, it's like the awkward first time that was ripped away from you by Caleb. When the covers shield you from her view, you're stuck looking at something you'd never thought to encounter. With no prior experience, you slide a few fingers inside and pump, when you feel her jut you know it can't be too bad. Confident and maybe a bit eager, you dip your tongue inside of her and swirl it. When your ears are filled with her moans and you feel anxious hands grabbing at your locks, you feel accomplished. It's not sexy for you but at least you're making someone feel something, right?

When you wake up in the morning next to the bartender with the unfamiliar taste of another woman on your mouth, you know you're not a lesbian. You slowly creep out of the bed and hear the springs pop up on her side. You curse yourself for not being quieter.

"Leaving so soon?" she asks, propping herself up on one arm.

Once you finally get a good, sober look at her you realize she must have ten years on you. Her body doesn't look bad though. Not bad at all. She looks like a frequent treadmill user. Someone that drinks protein shakes as routine maybe.

"I'm not-"

"You're not gay?" she smiles, moving upwards and covering her breasts with the vacant sheet, "Yeah I could tell from last night."

"Pfft," you spit with a tiny glare, "I didn't hear you complaining."

"I betcha you've never heard the sound of another woman fake it, huh?" she stood from the bed and slipped on a large white tee shirt and some pj pants to cover up, "You were fun though, can't deny that."

She leaves the room and you sigh, getting dressed into what you had on last night. You imagine what it would be like to date a woman. Especially this one, laid back and simple. It flashes through your mind that you don't want simple and then your back to square one...Alex Romero.

As you drive away from the apartment with a travel mug of coffee and a phone number, you feel somewhat accomplished. You didn't find a replacement number but you found someone to talk to. The mystery woman now identified as Laura, tells you she's a therapist while pouring your coffee and also says she thinks you should book an appointment ASAP. She may be right, you may need help.

Alex felt like he'd been comatose since the incident with Norma. He broke a number one rule and felt sick to his stomach. If anything happened to her, he wouldn't be able to handle it. They hadn't spoken to one another in days and he started to feel a loose grip on reality. The only thing he wanted was to apologize face to face and fuck her on routine. If he couldn't have her emotionally and a physical thing was what he had to settle for, so be it.

They'd established a no intimacy rule two months ago after the smoke had cleared and the trouble had gone. Pain still lingered but both of them were engrossed in loathe and denial. They couldn't see past one another but they also couldn't work out their issues. It was like a tug a war.

The rules were plain and not simple to Alex. No kissing on the face/lips. No saying the L word in any form. If things got to intimate, the plug would be pulled. Condoms are to be 100% present at all times of contact. Absolutely no cuddling. Limited foreplay. No cumming inside.

He was a smart man, he knew how much graveling it would take to get back into their routine. He needed her. He needed to see her. He needed to be in her space. Norma was a priority in his world even though she'd knocked herself off the shelf. She was his first morning thought and his final night thought. Inside, he felt like nothing could ever be good again. He wished things could go back to the way they were because even with all the pain and torment of Norman being in their world. Their little bubble. It was still better than this. It was a cold abyss that he sank into every night because he couldn't live without her. He was blessed to even have this arrangement.

Things were different now. He knew they were. Norma was a broken bird and he didn't think her wings could be healed this time. Three devastating heartaches in five months were a lot to handle.

This was the worst part for Alex, where he had to sit and relive. It was a bad cycle. Poisonous actually. As he sat back on the couch with a beer in hand, his mind clouded back to that same thought from his office days ago. Seven months is a long time. Your life can fall apart. His and Norma's certainly did…

 ** _April 2018_**

 _Alex sat at his desk, sorting through files that no one should be subjected to look at. They were coroner reports that were left unread. While he was scanning, he heard the door to his office burst open in a frenzy. With no call or text prior to her visit, this was a pleasant surprise. The mile long grin on his face as he stood up to greet her said it all, he was madly in love._

" _Hi baby," he said, walking towards her. Except something was different. She came in pacing back and forth and wouldn't stop. He walked up to face her, halting her with his hands on her arms. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"_

" _Oh Alex, I wish I could say yes...I just- I don't know," she started, as he looked closer he could see the tear stains down her pale cheeks._

" _Jesus, you look like hell. What's going on?" he asked, this time it was coming out like a beg. He hated seeing his wife so worked up about things that he could control. It was simple, you just had to talk to her. That was the hard part._

" _Alex…" she began, her fingernails sitting in between her teeth as she shook lightly, never before had he seen her like this. It was like she was truly frightened. But this wasn't like a Bob Paris or a Pineview or even a flashdrive scared...this was something else._

" _Baby," he began with a sigh, "You're really making me worry here. I can't help you if you don't talk to me." He took her in his arms and rubbed her back slowly, "Now how about you tell me what's happening, okay?"_

 _His lips were grazing the top of her head as she shook it lightly, "I can't hun...I can't lose you," she started sobbing after that, "I don't wanna lose you, Alex."_

" _Norma Louise Romero...you will never ever lose me, do you understand? You are the love of my life...the center of my world, okay? You'll never be able to get rid of me. So please...just tell me what happened. We don't have to do it here, we can go-"_

" _I'm pregnant," she yelped against his tan work shirt. He could feel the tears soak in and he tugged her away from his chest and swiped away the tears with the pads of his thumbs._

 _He was stunned and thrilled and scared shitless all at once. Overjoyed. That was an easy way to put it, "Really?" you ask with a smile._

 _She started to breath easier once she saw his reaction, "You're not disappointed?"_

" _Absolutely not. You're pregnant! That's the best thing ever," he said, but as he watched her shake her head again, he started to get nervous._

" _Alex, what about Norman? He doesn't like this- us and now we're gonna spring a baby on him?" she asked, her voice filled with worry and fear. "God, how could we have been so careless."_

" _Careless? Norma, we're married. We're in love with one another. We created a life. That's something to be happy about right?" he asked, sitting her down on the sofa in his office, "Look...why don't we go and see the doctor and make sure everything is okay. Then we can sit with Norman and ease him into it."_

 _She nodded and looked at him through mascara stained under eyes, "I'm so scared."_

" _We are gonna figure it out, baby. The three- the four of us are gonna be just fine, okay?"_

" _I hope you're right."_


	4. Chapter 4

Norma drove and thought. Again, her brain was on a race track. Things didn't feel normal and probably never would, right? The universe still felt tilted off its axis. She slept with a woman. She was now falling into a habit of drinking every single night. And she had wild dreams about Alex. All kinds of dreams actually, sexual, romantic, argumentative, even one's that involved death and dying. It broke her by the dawn because she would wake up and realize he wasn't next to her. It wasn't like the good old days where minuscule things would make her shoot up from her mattress and she would feel two strong arms around her in return. He always made her feel safe. He always made her feel at home.

As the road hit different twist and turns, so did Norma's memory. She could look back to all of the times Alex cradled her in his arms when things went wrong. It was triggering to remember, sure...but it also still made her feel safe. Even though the only thing she could cling to in the night was a useless body pillow.

As dangerous as it was, she missed his biceps around her waist. She missed the whisper of baby in her ear as she drifted back into a blissful slumber. She missed the heat that would pool in between her legs just from his nuzzle of her neck. But these things...these destructive things, weren't good for her, right?

 _Alex stirred from his peaceful slumber as he felt his wife's side of the bed creak like a taut. He slowly rested a hand on her arm and ran it down to her feeble palm, encasing it with his own._

" _You okay, baby?" he murmured in a groggy, middle of the night voice that his wife cherished. It was sexy to her. Dark. She smiled in the dark as his other hand rested lazily on her flat stomach tracing patterns._

" _Mhm...yeah, I'm fine," she whispered into the night, putting her hand over his own. She trembled under the covers and he moved even closer to her, snuggling into the arch of her back._

" _No you're not," he said, his voice now coming into a gentle whisper. "We watched Singing in the Rain before bed and I know how happy that makes you. Usually you're conked out after that one."_

 _She was half thrilled that he knew this about her and also terrified that someone took so much care and interest in her. She was still new to this world. So she took a deep breath and pressed lightly at her belly._

" _I'm just really scared, Alex."_

 _She felt him nod from behind her, "About Norman and our baby?"_

" _That I'm gonna screw it all up- this- our kid," she whimpered lightly, now letting the tears to fall down her face in the pale moonlight. She was grateful he couldn't see because she knew it'd hurt him. And the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him._

 _However, she could feel him shift off the bed and release any and all contact with her body. She worried that he would leave the room because he was angry. But this was Alex...her Alex. So he made his was over to her side of the bed and crouched on the ground in front of her adjacent to their nightstand. She felt a warm sense of relief come over her as the rough calloused fingertips that he possessed ran over her skin to wipe all of her tears away._

" _Baby…" he began with a tiny sigh, "You are one of the most caring human beings I've ever met. I've seen how you are with your boys. They are your entire world, right? And of course there's nothing you wouldn't do for them. Norma, you were meant to be a caretaker. You were meant to raise children. You have that love for kids and that passion to raise and teach. I'll tell you something, I couldn't have picked a better woman to carry my first."_

 _Even in the dark she could see that big grin that he never let anyone else see but her. "I love you. More than I'll ever be able to put into words. You always just make me feel better. You could blame it on that unicorn shit, Alex but I think you're just plain old magical."_

 _He took her hand in his and kissed the top of it. "You're right...I'm actually a pony. I was faking the unicorn act. Now that you've cracked the code, how will you ever be able to live with me?"_

 _To that, she tugged his head into her hands and kissed him on the lips with every ounce of passion that she could muster up. She pulled away and granted him the smile he always adored. "I think I can manage. This little girl needs her father after all, right?"_

" _And now you're just assuming genders, huh? I'm hurt. I was thinking a rough and tumble little man who wants to follow me to work everyday and shoot the bad guys. Y'know, someone I can play cops and robbers with while you're not looking," he smiled like a jackass, rising from the floor and heading back to the bed. He pulled her gently on her other side so they were face to face._

" _Too bad, Sheriff. She's gonna be a charming little lady. We're gonna go to ballet practices and school plays and tea parties and all the fun stuff. Plus her room is all pink. I can see it in my head before we even get a move on," her nose crinkled as she thought of the dream becoming a reality._

 _He looked at her with two hazel brown eyes filled with love, his hand reaching for her stomach one more, cupping it with so much TLC Norma thought she could cry again. Fucking hormones._

" _She's gonna be perfect, then."_

Laura sat with her clipboard in hand, pen smacking lightly against the wood as she observed her new client. It was weird having slept with her three nights prior, but whatever. Help was help. And she provided good help.

It was nearing the end of their session and it was scary how deadpan Norma was at everything. It was like all emotion had fallen out between every tragedy. Completely understanding but utterly heartbreaking. Her therapist knew she couldn't get personal with it.

"So, why did you do it?" she asked, jotting down small things about each event unfolding.

"Because I couldn't live with myself if I let it happen. Rebuilding something so happy and beautiful among so much anger and horror and pain wasn't really in my house of cards there, doc," Norma spat, her body feeling cold and empty just from talking about the event.

Even for her, this wasn't something to keep on lock anymore. She told dozens of specialists when they sent her to the psych ward so what was the difference. All filter was gone at this point. She just spoke her truths and moved on with her day. It was normal to feel shitty now. She let her flag fly.

"I understand. But what about your partner? Did you ever consider him before doing something so drastic?" she asked, trying to keep it light. It was early on but Laura could tell this patient was a firecracker. And when that mistle did launch, she knew it was gonna be wise to step back and advise.

"No." She answered shortly, putting her hands in her lap, "No. Nothing mattered anymore to me. Not him. Not any of the things we did together. Not the love we shared. Not the sun or the moon or the stars. I wanted to be left alone. It was so hard to wake up every day when I knew my other half couldn't. His chance at seeing the sun rise every morning was gone."

She could feel the need and urge to cry but held back the water works, they were a waste at this point anyway. Were tear ducts removable?

Laura nodded and looked over her notes, "I take it you two were close. What do you think hit you the most about his passing?"

"Um," Norma looked off into the hallway, trying to keep her tears at bay, "Not being able to cook him pancakes anymore. Not ever ironing another one of his shirts. Not kissing him goodbye. Not saying good morning…" she paused to let out a sniffle, followed by her fingers coming up to wipe subtle tears away, "Never being able to tell him I love him ever again. No more hugs or conversations."

"I understand. You seem to have a lot of grief inside of you, Norma. It's totally reasonable, that's a major loss. But I've talked to a lot of woman like yourself over the years. It might benefit you to come to our meetings. We hold two every month."

Laura pulled a pamphlet off her desk and handed it to Norma. It talked about people losing other people. A grief circle, if you will. Coping with loss and moving on. Reading the words "moving on" was the thing that sprayed salt on the wound left on her heart. She didn't think it was possible to move on from him. For fucks sake, he was her entire world. Her whole reason for breathing. The thing that saved her. The thing that also destroyed her and anything the future held. Her boy. Her Norman.

"I'm sorry, I can't-" she started, dropping the paper and grabbing her desk. "I can't do that."

Her therapist heard the words, "I'll write you a check for this week," as she practically fled the office. She put her head back on the leather neck rest of the chair.

This was gonna be a hard case.


	5. Chapter 5

**Seven Months Earlier**

 _Alex watched as his wife paced the floor of their living room, leaving an anxious gusto in her trail. Dylan was holding Emma's hand with a furrowed brow. Norman was on the loveseat by himself, his newest taxidermy creation sitting in his lap._

" _Mother, I don't understand why you called us all here. Has someone passed?" he asked, his brown eyes blowing wide with worry for a moment. Then he realized everyone he and his mother knew were in this room._

" _No-" she said in a much more aggressive tone than she meant. "I uh...um...me and Alex called everyone here because we had something to say- tell you all."_

 _Alex could tell his wife was nervous from the way she shook as she spoke. He hated to see her all wound up. Hell, he would've made the announcement but he knew how she was. And he knew she'd go ballistic. It was her body after all. But it was their baby. He stood from the couch and placed an arm around her shoulders to calm her down silently._

 _Emma's lip curled into a suspecting smile and she looked at her boyfriend, she was annoyed that no one could see it yet, "Norma, Alex...are you guys expecting?" she asked, her voice filled with joy. She tried to hold back the oncoming excitement._

 _She looked to Alex next to her and pursed her lips before looking to her family and nodding, "We didn't expect it but yeah, I'm pregnant." Her eyes refused to meet Norman's because she knew what he was thinking, he likely wanted to strangle Alex. She had been having vicious nightmares regarding him and the baby, but she would never tell her husband because that would only worry him._

 _Emma popped up from the couch, hugging them both and offering her congratulations. Her oldest stood slowly to shake Alex's hand and give his mother a hug._

" _Wow Mom...I didn't think you had it in you but congrats I guess. If you guys need anything, just call us. I don't really favor things that scream and poop but we're here."_

 _Norma breathed a small sigh of relief and ran her hand across Dylan's cheek in a form of appreciation. It still didn't make Norman's reaction better. He just left the room and headed out the door. She could hear his heavy footsteps as he pounded them down the concrete steps._

 _When everyone turned awkwardly silent and Alex gripped Norma's hand in nervous fashion, she turned to him with a worried frown. "I'll go talk to him. You guys just stay and eat. Alex, can you pull the pot roast out of the oven please?" she asked, her eyes begging for him to handle the aspects of their home._

 _For a moment, he looked scared. And he was. He hated when Norman was alone with his mother. He always feared for her life. It was something he would never relay to Norma but it was true. This time he nodded, "Yeah baby. I have everything here. Go talk to him."_

 _She gave him a grateful half smile and headed out of the house to catch her son sitting on the last step, he looked to be vibrating from anger. "Norman," she started with a sigh, putting her hand on his shoulder to sit next to him,_

 _He turned to her with his eyes practically black, "Don't you dare!" he shouted, moving from the step to stand in front of her, "Don't NORMAN ME! How could you mother? Hm? You bring some stranger into our home, into our life and practically force me to fancy the idea of him being my replacement father?! And then you let him knock you up-"_

 _She reached out a hand and slapped him across the face. She caused physical harm to her precious boy and it caused immediate regret. Norma took her hand back and started bawling. "Honey- Norman, I'm sorry I didn't mean that."_

 _He snarled at her and moved inches closer to her face, "Mother, you're trying to replace me. With some precious creation that I'll hate the second I see. Don't expect me to stick around for that. I refuse."_

 _He took off after that. No one saw or heard from him in three days. Norma spent her days waiting for him to walk through the front door. Alex would patrol the entire city with his force trying to find the kid. Emma and Dylan even had small search parties in the woods, near local lakes. When a jogger put in an anonymous tip about a body about 5 miles away from White Pine Bay, suspicions were raised. Deep in his gut, Alex knew what was sitting in the pine leaves. And he refused to take Norma. He let Dylan watch her as he trailed the woods with four of his deputies. There in a mossy clearing amongst the rocks and rubbish lay a deceased Norman Bates. One clear, single gunshot wound. Self inflicted. Seemingly was pressed to the skull. And next to him a note that read "_ _ **Down baby will fall**_ _."_

 _Nothing was ever the same from there on out._

Sitting in his easy chair nursing a glass of scotch, Alex reflected on the day of Norman's service. He remembered having to dress Norma and do her hair because she was completely comatose the entire day. And when the priest began she just wailed in the audience. When she didn't cling to Alex, he knew something had changed for the worse. She was pulling away. It was like she couldn't breathe without her son. And he didn't understand because he wasn't a parent...not yet at least. His mind started racing that entire time because stress was no good for their baby. He remembered carrying her up the stairs when they got home and sitting on the couch with her until she finally drifted to sleep at 3 am. He hated the sting of watching her not dress properly, not eat, and spend her days alternating between crying or not saying anything at all.

Within that time frame, he had no clue that she had ripped away one of the most precious things she could have given to him. She didn't talk to him until he forced it out of her. When she did, all hell broke loose and he vowed to himself that he'd never love her again. But it just festered. If anything as he was sitting and sipping, he thought of all the reasons he did love her. And what drew her to him in the first place.

He had the urge to pick up his phone and give her a drunk call. Tell her how he was still so blindly in love with her that he couldn't see straight. That he would always need her and could never hate her even though he swore he did. He told her to her face and then went crawling back like a sucker. He always would end up going back to her. Always.

As she sat on her toilet seat with the pregnancy test in her hands, she prayed that it would be negative. Part of her knew it would be because of her back up birth control but she would rather be safe than sorry. Being pregnant a second time with Alex Romero's baby was a heartache that she wouldn't be able to face again. She waited a week after the incident to take the test and was anxious the whole way through.

She hadn't contacted him in that time either, then again neither did he. Though she would never admit it to him, her heart was broken from his lack of contact. He always came running back to her. She didn't want to be the one to reach out and look weak. She was never weak. Never.

When she glanced down to see the glorious one line, her blues looked up to the ceiling of the bathroom. She muttered a relived thank you to whoever was listening and tossed the test away. Just imagining what she would have to do if there were two lines scared the shit out of her. It's not like she'd ever be able to do the unthinkable again. She refused to ever step foot in another clinic after the last time.

 **Six Months Earlier**

 _Norma sat in the back seat of some taxi she found the number of on the internet. It was the most interaction she'd had with a human since Norman's death. As he drove to the Planned Parenthood that sat twenty minutes from White Pine Bay, Norma put a hand on her stomach and cried silently. All she could think of was how sorry she was._

 _When she reached the front desk and the receptionist looked at her with some of the kindest eyes she'd ever seen, she went hushed, afraid of judgement. She didn't want the people in that waiting room to hear what she was doing._

" _I um...I need an abortion," she said, her voice faltering on the last word. She could feel her heart bursting as she said it._

 _Before she knew it, she had a gown on and was sitting on a tan table waiting on the nurse. She was shaking and felt the urge to vomit every time she took a breath in. In her head, that baby was clinging to her from the inside begging for love, to stay in there. But she couldn't give a newborn love. Not after losing her son over said baby. She couldn't do it. And she could never handle passing the baby off to Alex and leaving him. Then she thought of Alex. Her husband. The man she was so in love with that she couldn't see straight. This was gonna break him. But in her mind, it was breaking her more. This baby took her son away from her._

 _Just then, the nurse came in with her results._

" _Okay, Mrs. Romero, it looks like you're nine weeks along here. I think it's best that we do a suction procedure. We'll give you something for your pain and put you up in a room after. You need to wait for about an hour so we can check on you. Any questions?" she asked, sitting on her stool and staring at the clipboard._

 _She shook her head, "No."_

" _The doctor will be in soon," she said, offering a sympathetic smile before leaving the room._

 _Norma let the tears drip from her eyes as her hands found her stomach again, "I'm sorry, sweetheart," she sobbed, hugging herself as she wept. "It's not your time."_

 _She kept repeating how sorry she was to the heartbeat inside of her. It couldn't happen. She kept reminding herself that Norman shot himself over her unborn baby. That was her only motivation to stay on that bed and keep cool until the doctor told her it was done._

 _As she sat in the patients spot, she felt dead inside. She was racked with guilt and depression and grief over the baby that she'd never get to hold or watch Alex teach how to ride a bike. When the taxi beeped it's horn from outside an hour later, she was consumed with thoughts on how to live with herself from here on out._

 _The pain she felt was not only physical as she sat in the cab, it was like a switch shut off inside of her. All the color from the world had turned to a muted grey. That's when she knew things would never be the same. Her hand still clutched her belly the whole ride home. All she could think of was "I'm sorry"._


	6. AUTHORS NOTE

**Hey everyone. I know it's been a minute since I popped an author's note towards my readers. I just want to say that yes...this story is incredibly out of character. That's the way it's supposed to be. This fan fiction is by no means a fairy tale. Y'all, I've grown up on here. I don't want to write about sunshine and rainbows anymore. This world can be a really ugly place and heartbreak is one of the worst pains that you can face. I'm not here to say anyone's opinion is wrong because none of the reviews are bad to me. Please, stop picking at the reader who wrote the nastier comment. Let them read my story and say what they want, because it's their opinion. Don't get me wrong, please. I appreciate everyone standing my by side all these years and protecting me from comments like that. But I don't need protection. I'm vulnerable here, I asked for this. I posted my stories on a public platform and forum. Any feedback is good feedback to me. Let me know it's out of character, let me know that I am taking Normero in a way different direction then they were ever meant to be taken in. This story is meant to be dark, macabre, edgy, racy. It's not a love story. I'm not calling it an AU because this something that could happen and everything else but their attitudes are fairly the same. At least in my mind.**

 **To the people who are confused, I'm going to leave a basis as to what's happening here. Norman killed himself over Norma and Alex's upcoming baby. Norma had to get rid of the thing that took her son away from her. You guys know how she was about her son. He was her whole world and not even Alex could interfere with that. Not in the show at least. So of course Alex hates her for getting the abortion, she ruined their future and hit their relationship in the soft spot. However, they are still hooking up because Alex is deeply in love with her and needs some part of her, even if it is shown in layers of "hate sex". The whore comment was said completely in a matter of hate sex rules. This was not a rape sequence, as it was consensual. Norma could be incredibly self degrading at times and this was nonetheless. Understand that she loves him just as much but will always be consumed with guilt because of what she did. However she let's Alex treat her that way in bed because she feels like she deserves it. And she still wants to be near him as well. It complicated. Love is complicated. Life is complicated. But I hope this clears up some confusions.**

 **I am going to keep this fan fiction going in the direction it's already heading in despite some of the reviews. You are all more than welcome to say what you'd like about this story, tear it down or build it up. Either way it doesn't matter to me. I'll read them all and be happy to see them because it's feedback. I want to be something big one day, everyone. A baron figure in the community, someone that creates what is in their head and lets it out for people to see. Those creations will always be under fire, whether it's good or bad. So to the folks that have been with me since the beginning, I appreciate you still reading and enjoying my stuff. To the people that are confused or angry about this story, thank you for reading it or at least giving it a shot.**

 **On a lighter note, someone sent me a private message (PM) regarding a guess as to who the therapist is based on. I'll say this, the character of the therapist is based on an actress. I'm going to put her description in this message again and I want you guys to guess who she's based on. The first person that guesses correctly gets a shout out in my next chapter, I'll name a character in this story after you. Lame but I figured we could have a little fun here among all the opinions in my comment section. Here's the description of Norma's therapist/LESBIAN hookup (hint...big hint) :** [ _Blonde short hair, some fine wrinkles, a pair of blue eyes...You realize now that she's tall. She's almost athletic ]_ **Hope one of you can guess correctly! Have fun with it, guys. As always thank you for reading. I'm gonna shut up and go work on the next chapter now. - MJ123 :)**


	7. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone. This chapter is a little heavy but it should give you more context as to what's going on emotionally between Norma and Alex. Thank you to everyone that read and understood and showed love to my author's note! I appreciate it. Also! To the person that guessed Gillian Anderson as the idea for the therapist, it was a good attempt but not quite! I've been watching a lot of The L Word lately (Because surprise, surprise...your fellow author is gay) and I hit an episode where Jane Lynch was a therapist and I thought I'd include the inspiration into this story. I matched the description to her and all. But to my Gillian guesser, leave your name and I'll include it in this story because you were the only person that guessed lol. I love you guys. Thanks for being here 3**

It was an absolute blessing that Alex had put Norma as his primary emergency contact the week after they exchanged vows. Early morning had came when she received a call from the White Pine Bay Police Station. Immediately, she felt a set of chills tingling down her spine, there couldn't be anymore murder to fear so what had her so worked up. She picked up, dreading whatever was waiting for her on the other end.

"Hello?" she asked, her voice haunting in a way. It was layered in a permanent sheen of sadness and sleepiness. The two things combined really kicked the shit out of her from the inside out.

"Mrs. Romero?"

She knew the voice all too well, it was Regina. The receptionist that she had come to like when she married Alex. The girl was really pleasant once you got to know her. She remembered how much she used to dislike her when she'd first came to the town. Just another person to heckle her and call her crazy. Mrs. Romero was something that she hadn't heard in a while and it tore her down to think about it. She missed the title but was grateful for the lack of spotlight.

"Yeah um- this is she. What's going on, Regina?" she asked worriedly, internally still quaking with anxiety. She couldn't handle anything else on her plate. It wasn't in her cards.

There was a moment of silence on the other end before she started speaking again which only made Norma more nervous, "Listen, I don't want you to worry, okay? Sheriff Romero didn't show up for work this morning. Between you and I...he hasn't been looking so good the past couple of weeks. I sent one of our guys over to check on him because I was concerned. He wouldn't answer on his cell phone either. Deputy McCall found him unconscious this morning and called 911. I'm not sure what's going on right now but they have him at the hospital and it doesn't-"

She hung up the phone and raced to her car. Her body was still covered in her leggings and an old t shirt but she didn't care. She refused to lose another one. Her foot was weighing down heavily on the peddle as she was racing well above the speed limit. The warmth of blistering tears that were now streaming drove her insane. She hated that she cared this much about someone who'd claimed to hate her. She hated that she cared this much about someone who degraded her in bed for his own satisfaction. She hated that he broke one of their cardinal bedroom rules because he was too drunk to pay attention to what she needed. She hated that despite all of that, he was still one of the greatest men she'd ever known. And the divorce papers hadn't been signed yet, it was only a separation. Once she finally reached the place she hated the most, she ran inside to the receptionist desk.

The woman looked up at her with a smile, "How can I help you, ma'am?"

"Uh-" she started, out of breath from the anxiety of it all, "My...my husband, Alex Romero-"

"The Sheriff is in Room A3 on the first floor. Do you want someone to take you or are you okay?" she asked, now seeming a bit worried.

"No, no, I'm fine. Is he awake?" she asked, placing a finger in her mouth to chew a lose hangnail frantically.

"Last time we checked, he looked to be slowly gaining back some consciousness."

She nodded and thanked her. Upon walking up the stairs to his floor, she felt a tiny bit better. At least he was awake and breathing. She was pissed that he would do this to himself. She took a deep breath and walked into his room, his eyes were shut almost peacefully as the machine next to him beeped.

Her nimble fingers ran through her wavy blonde locks as she observed him, "Alex?" she asked aloud, moving closer to his bed to poke the side of his arm.

He stirred and gave her a look, "What are you doing here, Norma?"

"Well let's see, dumbass. You had me as your emergency contact and Regina called me and I thought you were dead. What the hell did you think you were doing anyway?" she asked, casting him a small scowl.

"I was drinking, okay? I guess I did too much and I didn't realize. No biggie," he said, looking annoyed at the IV in his arm. She knew he hated these places. He knew the same thing about her. It was all too unsettling.

"No biggie?" she mocked his voice loudly, "You're in a fucking hospital bed and your co-worker found you unconscious this morning. What were you doing drinking that much? You could have died!"

"Stop it...I can't think when you yell like that. I made a mistake, so what," he spat. Inside he was in love with this woman. He couldn't show it though. Not after she ignored him for two weeks over an accident that he made. "How'd the Plan B work out for ya?"

She afforded him a nasty glare and avoided the question. For once, Norma refused to fuel the fire, "Was this some kind of attention thing? Were you just trying to get me to run after you, Alex?"

He didn't say anything. He couldn't deny what he knew was true.

"It doesn't work like that. You don't get to play dead and think everything is okay with us. I'm not gonna sit and pity you or your newfound drinking problem," she said, hitching her purse over her shoulder. She was about to pace out of the room when the doctor found her and asked to speak to her in the hallway. She gave him one last disappointed glance as she left his hospital room.

"Mrs. Romero, he almost died. We found copious amounts of hard liquor when we pumped his stomach. If he continues drinking that heavily, he _will_ die. He won't survive if the problem is that bad. We are giving him two options here...he can either attend a rehabilitation clinic or he has to be supervised to ensure he's not engaging in this activity anymore," he explained, looking down to check his notes and Alex's results.

She nodded, on the inside her thoughts were waging a war. Norma knew Alex would hate rehab. He would never put himself in a place like that, nor would he agree to go. He would also feel humilated if she had to babysit him but it would be his choice over the clinic. She knew he still loved her, but it was rocky. She didn't want to lose him. The decision was made.

"I'll take care of it, Doctor."

It took large scale amounts of arguing to even get Alex to agree to stay in a motel room. He vowed not to stay in the same house as her, he knew damn well that was a horrible idea. As humans, taking the toxic things out of your life was known as a good thing...an achievement. He took Norma the only way he could have her at all, in moderation. It was like fast food, honestly. He wanted to badly to be grateful to her for looking after him and making sure he didn't drink the way he did every night without her...but that would mean looking at her in a positive light and there was no way he could ever do that again.

He lay in the motel bed knowing the mattress was going to fuck up his back royally like it did a few years back when Room 11 was known as home and Norma was known as infatuation. Every two hours, he would hear her knock on his door making sure he wasn't dead or dying. It was so hard to be weak in front of her, it was like falling backwards. This time when she arrived at his room, she had a tray in hand.

Slowly and deliberately, she sat on the side of his bed looking at him. The man she had broke. The man she had destroyed. The love she had soiled. She eyed the items on her tray and then looked back to him, "Y'know, it was really stupid of you to drink that much, Alex. You could have killed yourself," her voice was a condescending chalkboard scratch. As annoying as it was, he missed it.

"We gonna sit and talk about bad decisions? Because we can go down that road if you really want to, Norma," he spat back with a pair of narrowed eyes. It was a wall he had up. His guards were steely now.

She inhaled a deep sigh and handed him a bowl of soup. It was homemade. He'd probably notice from the time he had a cold and she nursed him back to health. Even though she called him a jackass the entire time for being such a baby, she loved it. She loved him being vulnerable and in the palm of her hand. It was powerplay, really. But right now she couldn't be more pissed at him. "I'm trying to take care of you the best I can, okay? I don't need you to cop an attitude with me."

He snorted lightly, "Call it an attitude all you want. You did this."

She shot up from the bed in horror, shoving the tray to the ground. She didn't give a fuck about the contents hitting her carpet. "I DID THIS?!" her voice howled as her eyes screamed bloody murder.

"Yeah you did, Norma!" he shouted right back at her, his hands gesturing wildly back and forth, "Things could've been good for us. We could have been okay. You destroyed us. What we had. Or what we could have had!"

"You know that, Alex, I'm sick of this! This black viel you keep putting on my fucking head. I made a choice. Norman killed himself and he's not coming back. What did you expect me to do?! You really think I was gonna look at this precious beautiful gift in my arms everyday and hate her? I would've resented my own baby-" she cried viciously, her hand wiping her face trying to hide her emotions, "And you...you just left me. After everything, after telling me you'd never go, you left me alone."

She sniffled heavily and walked towards the door, "I can't- I can't do this."

With that, she was gone. And he was left pounding his skull lightly against the headboard in frustration.

 _Six Months Earlier_

 _Alex had entered the place he now called home, making sure to be quite and mindful of his wife. She slept a lot recently. He didn't blame her. The doctor put her on a serious amount of bedrest due to the recent emotional turmoil that had hit her...them. Ever since Norman, she doesn't smile. Or sing. Or play piano. Or call him hun. She's silent. She's like a robot. A shell of someone she used to be and it broke his heart. He wanted to make things better and had no clue how to help. All he could do was love her the way he always did. And they had a baby to look forward to. Alex hoped that building a nursery and talking about names would make her a bit happier. He wasn't surprised about any of this, Norman was her world. And he had no idea how it felt to lose a child._

 _As he was putting the groceries up in the cupboard, the phone rang. He answered quickly to not disturb his wife and her rest, "Hello?"_

" _Hi. Is Norma Bates available?"_

" _Not at the moment. But you're speaking to her husband, can I take a message?"_

" _Sure. You can tell her that Planned Parenthood sent over the prescription but it's not compatible with the insurance on file? It's coming to $80 on our end. Any idea if she'd still want it?" the pharmacist asked kindly._

 _Planned Parenthood? He wondered, why would they be sending over prescriptions? And why so pricy? Inside, he started to worry. "Um, yeah. I can come by and pick it up. Do I need any form of ID to pick it up for her?"_

" _Nope! You just need to know her birthday. The prompt will do the rest," she explained._

" _See you soon."_

 _When he finally came back, he got a better look at what she'd been prescribed. Methergine. He took a seat at the kitchen table and pulled out his phone, typing the drug name in the engine and waiting anxiously._

 _ **This medication is used after childbirth to help stop bleeding from the uterus. Methylergonovine belongs to a class of drugs known as ergot alkaloids. It works by increasing the rate and strength of contractions and the stiffness of the uterus muscles. These effects help to decrease bleeding.**_

 _His eyes started to water. Had she lost the baby? He hadn't seen her since he came home and he was 100% sure that she'd be a mess. His heart started racing as he tried to cover all his bases, typing into google what the drug was used for. The only things he could find were miscarriage and an incomplete abortion. He sat at the table and clicked the phone off, the tears flowing freely. He was trying to cope with the fact that his baby was gone. As if on command, he heard Norma's footsteps coming through the hallway and into the kitchen. She looked at him. No smile or anything, she just shot him a nod._

" _Hi," she said, the words stumbling out of her mouth. She looked a mess. Her eyes were red rimmed. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail. She was wearing sweatpants he'd never seen before. Something was wrong and he knew it. Her eyes got wider when she realized his tears, "What's wrong Alex?" her voice was shaky now, more nervous._

 _He stood up and held the pharmacy bag to her face, "Norma, what happened today?"_

 _She went silent and closed her eyes tight, her non existent gaze falling to the floor._

" _Answer me…" he started, moving closer to her, "Honey...did you have a miscarriage today?" his voice grew soft as he continued to cry, gripping the bag like a lifeline._

 _Her heart shattered as she heard his voice breaking. Immediately, she started bawling. She loved him. More than anything. And she couldn't lie. Not about this. Not about his baby. She shook her head no as she hugged herself, the pain from earlier returning deep in her gut._

 _He gave her a confused tearful look, "I don't understand, Norma. Why these pills?"_

" _Alex...I-" she began, her voice hitching in between fits of tears that wouldn't stop, "I went to Planned Parenthood today. I had to- I couldn't do it." Her face scrunched up while she cried, waiting for his response. She wouldn't dare look into his eyes. There was no way._

" _You didn't." It was a statement. No warning or question behind it. A statement._

 _This time she nodded yes._

 _He knocked the bag of pills of the table. Right now, all he could feel was rage. Towards the woman he'd loved more than anything in or on this earth. His wife. The woman he slept next to every night. She did this. He was on a rampage, picking up a porcialon plate and hucking it against the wall in anger._

" _STOP IT!" she shouted through the waterworks. She put her hands over her ears, "Stop!"_

 _He placed his hands on her shoulders, gripping lightly. "You did this to us. You killed our baby…" he sobbed, "And I'll never forgive you for this." He wiped his nose as he let her go and started walking towards the door. He looked back at her with beet red pupils, "I hate you for this, Norma."_

 _It was a long while before they saw each other again after that. The road was broken and it only led to one another._


	8. Chapter 7

**Special shout out and big thanks to Maya/Joy for responding! Great guess, love the enthusiasm. You'll see your name down the line in this story. I have an idea for it! Also thank you for everyone who continues to read and support. Enjoy :)**

Alex sat with his hands together on the motel bed thinking. He felt bad about unleashing on Norma when she was only trying to help him. He just let things slip out of his mouth because he was angry. It's not that he didn't mean it, he just wished they approached the manner in a different way. They had never really discussed the situation in depth. Her abortion was not on the table for conversation...ever.

He was lonely now. And he knew Norma wasn't gonna cave and sleep with him. He hadn't gone this long without sexual contact since he left her. With a heavy sigh and not a lot of thought, he tugged his cell phone out and scrolled the contacts. When he clicked the person he thought he'd never speak to again, he shot the text.

 **8:15 pm** _What are you up to?_

An immediate text back, of course. Absolutely no hesitation.

 **8:15 pm** _Lol. Get bored of the wife already?! Quite a record there, Alexander._

He sighed again, shaking his head and tapping the keyboard with the pads of his calloused thumbs. This was a bad idea. A bad idea. A really bad idea.

 **8:16 pm** _Give it a rest. Are you busy?_

 **8:17 pm** _I suppose I can clear my schedule for a dick down...It's been awhile ;)_

 **8:19 pm** _Bates Motel. Room 3._

She didn't send a response back but Alex was 100% sure that she'd come knocking.

As if directed, the telltale knock came 20 minutes later. She looked good. Fine, actually. It wasn't Norma and that's what hurt the most. Her hair was red instead of golden. Her eyes were dark green instead of the crystal sapphire blue he was oh so accustomed to. Rebecca Hamilton. Not a force to be reckoned with. A decent lay. That's all he needed.

She fell into him almost immediately, running her skinny fingers up and down his chest. She ran a kiss along his cheek and then met his eyes, "Did she kick you out and force you into one of these shoddy rooms?" she asked, her voice annoying him.

He rolled his eyes, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Poor baby," she pouted, taking her jacket off and flinging it to the side. Her body was barely covered in a lacy olive one piece. "Bet I can make you feel better."

Without anymore discussion, they fell to the bed. He wasted no time tearing off her clothes and flipping her over. He didn't want to look at her...he wouldn't dare.

"So assertive," she purred, turning to peek at him, "No need for a condom baby, I'm on the pill."

He just nodded and unbuckled his jeans, once freed he gripped her hips and plowed into her. No foreplay, no intimacy. The way he'd gotten accustomed to.

She let out a porn star induced moan as she bucked against his force, "Yeah- oh my god…" she groaned. He hated when she did it. He prefered the way his wife moaned. It was soft, not too overdone, and definitely not fake. His wife. He closed his eyes and thought of her. The curves, the day they were down in the basement thinking about home improvements, the way she tasted, her laugh. It all drove him insane, he stuffed himself into Rebecca harder, his eyes closing as he felt a tightening in his abdomen.

"Alex! Fuck…" she screamed, clenching around him quickly, efficiently. That's what he always liked about fucking her, she was fast and he never had to think about it after. "I'm cumming," she moaned, her head falling back as her rhythm slowed.

He kept pounding into her as more images of his wife played in his mind. The first night they had sex, all the times she would surprise him at work, the way she moaned, the way her fingers gripped at his back as she came. It was all too much. He spilled into her with one name on his lips. _Norma_.

The second the redhead heard it, she jerked up from the bed, not caring about her nudity. She gave him a scowl, "Are you fucking kidding me?!" she barked, reaching for her onesie with a huff.

He moved up from the bed and pulled his boxers back on. "This was a really bad idea," he grumbled, looking at her now disheveled appearance.

"You think," she spat, "Can't even fuck me without getting that bitch out of your head."

Internally, he was fuming. He wanted to berate her for insulting his wife but he took a breath and nodded, "You need to leave. I shouldn't have texted you. I'm sorry," he admitted, walking over to the door to open it for her, gently leaning against the door frame.

"Don't ever reach out to me again either. I'm not just some whore that you can use at your beck and call," she growled, flinging her Gucci over the coldest shoulder he'd ever seen and slipping out the door into the night.

He closed and locked the entrance behind her cursing himself up and down for making such a decision. With one last look out the window to make sure she was actually gone, he hit the showers in complete disgrace.

However, the mood he'd made was worse than he thought because his wife got a brief taste of what was happening inside the motel room only 15 minutes before.

Norma sat with a bottle of her husband's whiskey in her hand. He'd left it behind when he abandoned her and she never told him about it. She knew she'd need it for a rainy day...well rainy night as it would appear. She was raging and heartbroken all at once. Every sip she took, she seethed even more. He was with another woman. And not just any woman. She knew the red convertible parked on her gravel outside of his room by heart. It was the same color of her cheap box dye. This wasn't just something she could brush off. It was Rebecca fucking Hamilton. The sleaze that Alex swore he'd gotten rid of after and a little before they were married. She remembered the night they talked about her the final time.

It was after dinner at the same place they had their first ever date. As they were driving home, they passed that foul little red convertible zipping down the road beside them. She asked if it was the same car Rebecca drove. He just huffed and gave her the look of a lifetime. Norma knew the look all too well, it was a classic Sheriff Bulldog glare. She got uncomfortable because she hadn't seen it since before they were together, in love, or whatever you wanna call it. He didn't say anything until they got into the house. Then it was a frenzy, he grasped her arm gently, all the hurt in the world in his brown eyes and asked to talked to her. She'd always remember what he said. Her ears were ringing as she recalled.

"Norma, you're my wife. I had a crush on you when you stepped into my office and asked me for political favors. I fell in love with you when you bandaged me up at our kitchen table. I knew I'd be with you forever when we both agreed that everyone was doomed in the end," he explained, taking off his sports jacket, "Whenever I fucked her- and believe me when I say that's all it was...I thought of you. I wanted you. She was a body and I needed to get laid. Simple as that."

She wanted to fall into his arms, swooning just like the girls in all the old movies she loved had. Instead, she pursed her lips and tried her best to shoot him a glare. She was being a smart ass, as always. She remembered asking him what he was trying to say and him getting down on one knee and taking her hand. This was not how either one of them proposed. That was the first thought in her head.

"It means, that you and I will always be the one for each other. I'm in love with you. I wake up everyday with you beside me and I've just...I've never been so happy. Not since my mom was alive and well and whistling show tunes to me in our kitchen when I was a kid. I don't want anyone else and I never will. I promise. And I really don't wanna talk about her again. Please?" he asked, his voice was so desperate. It was like when he was begging her to take Bob Paris' getaway money. Her heart melted and they had made love right there on the floor. They didn't care. And Rebecca was only a foggy memory.

Not now. She was very real and very present at her business and it drove her absolutely insane. Sure, she wasn't with her husband. They had faced their share of trauma. But she never in her life thought he would sink this low. Banging some cheap whore so close to her. He couldn't even have the common decency to go to her place. In her mind, she regretted ever letting him stay near or around her. She regretted playing nurse for him. She should have let him go to the rehab center. Her heart was so broken but so filled with hate at the same time. She hated that he still made her feel this way even when they were seperated.

She knew herself. After all of the terrible things she'd gone through in her life, Norma Bates still knew herself better than anyone else would. She knew it was time for a release. From someone. From anything really. These were her low points. The moments in her life when she truly gave no fucks. She wanted to feel something other than rage and heartache. She could feel the whiskey coursing through her veins, enough to give anyone a rush of confidence.

Her nimble fingers, picked up her cell phone and scrolled to the contact she was looking for. She was officially uninhibited and reckless. That was usually the height of her intoxication. This is when she made the bad decisions.

It wasn't long before she sent the text to Laura and waited for a response.

 **9:30 pm** _Come over._


	9. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone. It's just me telling you all to give this story some time to grow and blossom ;) - MJ123**

It was only 30 minutes until Laura arrived at the Bates home. She was concerned and immediately disappointed in her client. In the moment, she knew she had to take off the professional shield and talk to the woman one human to another. She couldn't deny that she was sexually attracted to Norma. But that was off limits.

The obviously drunk woman staggered to the front door to let her in the house with a sloppy, sensual grin. "Well hey there," she purred, moving closing to her and making eyes, staring at her lips.

Laura sighed and rolled her eyes, moving away from her, "Norma, why did you text me?" she asked, she remembered to handle the situation like a friend and not a therapist. She knew she'd get nowhere by being self righteous, rather by being relatable.

"Because-" she started, looking like she was genuinely struggling to piece a sentence together, it was clear to her help that she'd had far too much to drink. "Because I needed to fuck."

She sat on the couch and crossed one leg over the other, "Well, we're not gonna do that. But I do want you to sit down here with me. Let's talk, okay?" she cooed, being careful to not set her off.

"Yeah," she started, picking up the bottle and taking another swing, "So, you don't want me?" she asked, seemingly getting angry. Laura knew it was just insecurity masking itself in rage. It wasn't the first time she'd observed someone like Norma.

"I slept with you the other night. That was before you were my patient. And we both know you're not a lesbian. You told me yourself. Why did you call me over here?" she asked, keeping her tone calm still. She was gonna play it off like she was talking to a toddler.

To that, Norma stayed silent for a minute, finally plopping down on the couch next to her with a heavy huff. Thankfully, she put the bottle down. "I needed to feel something," she admitted, her voice coming out barely above a whisper. Her therapist nodded and turned her eyes on her.

"A release?"

She nodded, reaching down to play with her own fingers. Laura knew it was a nervous habit. "I needed it," she mumbled, feeling ancy. Norma hated talking to people about her problems. She considered Laura to be a little different because she was a professional.

"Did something happen today?" she asked, wishing silently that she could take notes on whatever the woman was about to let out.

Once again, she graced her with a nod. Laura could see a small tear falling out of the corner of her eye. "It was Alex. He um...he slept with another girl today. The redhead," she grumbled, still stumbling over some of her words.

"I see," she adjusted in her seat to face her properly, "Who is this redhead that you speak of?"

Norma rolled her eyes and wiped her tear away, "She's this harlet that my husband used to shack up with before we were married. And she's horrible. She broke into my house and destroyed my window!"

"Your husband, huh?" she asked knowingly, "Sounds like there is still a lot of devotion there."

"Pfft," she spat out, "Well yeah, I told you I still loved him."

"Sometimes love and devotion are two different things. You can hate something but still be devoted to it. Think of Republicans and how much they hate gay people getting married. Yet they are so devoted to making it so we can't get married."

"I guess."

"Are you still devoted to Alex?" she asked, careful to pry gently.

She nodded, more tears slipping out of her eyes. "Yeah. Is it bad to think he's still mine? And I'm so angry- so mad at him for letting that girl in his motel room and seeing her again."

"I'm not gonna sit here and say no, Norma. But I will say, you slept with me a week ago. Alex slept with someone tonight. Have you two made any amends within this week? Have you ripped up the separation papers?" she asked, putting a hand on her back to calm her down a bit.

Norma shook her head as her body rocked with sadness and tears.

"Well we can't be hypocritical here. You have to remember that you can't say something is off limits for him if its not off limits for yourself. In the human mind, that makes no sense. Let me ask you...why did we sleep together last week?" she asked, it wasn't personal in the slightest. More of a curiosity to hit an overarching question.

"Because I wanted to get my mind off him. Even though-"

"You can never get your mind off of him. I understand. You're in love. Through all the heartache, you're still in love with your husband. And that means what?" she asked, quizzing her on the basics of the human heart.

She sniffled, "I don't know."

"That means we might have a shot at fixing this," she began, taking her phone out to check her calendar, "Do you think he feels the same?"

"He said he hated me. But he still wanted to sleep with me. I never knew if the love was still there. I didn't let him express it when we would...hook up," she said, thinking back to their little rules.

Laura nodded, "When does he work?"

"He works all day into the late night. He's taking two weeks off right now because of his accident. He had to go to the hospital...alcohol poisoning," she explained, her heart aching at the thought of seeing him in that hospital bed. It was her biggest fear. And despite all the hostility, she would hate herself completely if anything happened to him.

"Ahh," she acknowledged, "Y'know, typically when people drink to access, it's because they are trying to fill a void of some kind. Maybe he's using liquor as your replacement. Maybe he misses feeling something just the way you do. It's like a broken bridge...you two just need to mend the pieces back together and walk with each other."

"How?" she asked, feeling defeated, "How are we gonna mend this back together when it's hard to be in a room with him?"

"I'm offering you my time. A couples session. We could try and talk about some of the issues between you two and figure out how to fix it. Maybe we can retrace where the love started. I'm not telling you to answer me right now. But I am gonna leave you with some homework," she said, her eyes swapping back and forth between the phone and Norma.

"I really don't-"

"Don't give me an answer now, Norma. I want you to do the thinking assignment I'm going to message you and then really sleep on the idea. When you wake up with a clear mind, I want you to tell me where we are going with this," she instructed as she rose from the sofa and popped her purse over her shoulder. With that, she headed to the door with a final wave.

Norma slouched back into the couch when she heard her phone chime.

 **11:15 pm** _Think back to the first time you really, 100% knew that you were in love with your husband. The time you knew he was the only one and nothing would ever break you apart. You don't need to share if it's too personal or uncomfortable, but reflect for yourself._

Later that night as she lay her head down on the pillow, Norma closed her eyes and smelled the alcohol on her own breath with distaste. This couldn't do anymore. The sadness was pulling her into a dark black cesspool. Then she thought of Laura's text. The first time she was truly in love with her husband. The first time she knew she could 500% trust him with her life, secrets, and mistakes. The first time she kissed a man and saw the thing she thought was a simple piece of folklore...fireworks.

The first time anything ever felt real.

 _May. Norma's all time favorite year. When all of her favorite flowers started to bloom. Flowers always reminded her of a light at the end of the tunnel. She was a little girl when heaviness weighted on her heart. At 11, she could never understand why her brother would put a pillow in between her mattress and the headboard. Or why he would touch her in places that the health teacher and her mother called "off limits". But she would always have her mother's garden. She would often go out and sit in the grass, watching the small buds grow after every encounter with Caleb. Sometimes she would ask the bloomers why it was happening and what it all meant. The lupins always gave her the most joy and radiance. It was a sweet spring feeling. Norma always basked in the things that could bloom out of a shitty situation. She would always try to make the bad stuff better. It was in her nature...blooming that is._

 _It was a late and long day at the motel. She was swamped. People were flooding in a shocking manner. Coming left and right to book rooms for themselves and their families. Though she was pleased, fear also struck. What would she do with all of them when it came to cleaning and guest needs. She'd most likely have to ask Emma to come back and help her. She was so stressed out with everyone's questions and having them all settle in comfortably, that she totally forgot about dinner. When she closed up shop and finally reached the house, she had small flashbacks of the monster that once locked her in a cage and controlled her every step. Sam Bates. A piece of shit. Plain and simple. Each and every time he would come home and dinner was a moment too late to hit the table, he would fly off the handle and grant her with a new shiner. Something to cover when she went to the grocery store or to pick her boys up from school. It was an awful mark of territory. She always made dinner a thing for herself and her Alex. Not that she believed he would ever hit her or harm her, because it was a reflex to the past. She would internally get mad at herself and self destruct if dinner was late on the table. Just one more piece of emotional trauma left from a dirtbag in her life._

 _She jotted up the stairs and let out a puff as she thought of leftovers. She hated serving them if there were ingredients to make something else. It felt like failure. Not that Alex would care...for the love of God, the man lived on Celeste Pizza, Chinese takeout, and Breyers Butterscotch Blondie Ice Cream (which she now kept in her freezer just for him). She went into the kitchen and started tearing through the cabinets. She cursed herself for not being able to find the penne. It was peculiar because she knew it was a weekly grocery store purchase. Shit, maybe it was gonna be Breyers for dinner._

 _Then, she heard her name._

" _Norma?" Alex called out from the dining room. He paced into the kitchen wearing her favorite blue plaid shirt. "Hi baby."_

 _She shot him a nervous grin and leaned in to kiss him, "Hey...um- I'm sorry. I got really busy today and I totally forgot about dinner," her lip was caught in between her teeth then, anxiously gnawing at the skin._

 _He laughed a little, a compassionate smile coming over his lips. "I know! I saw all the cars and people down there when I came home today. I'm happy for you. Any business is good business, right?"_

 _She instantly felt relieved then, "Yeah...yeah, absolutely. I'm over the moon. And you're not mad about dinner? I mean I'll take one for the team and we can order in from Golden Garden, I know you like the-"_

 _He put a hand to her lips and then replaced it with his own, giving her another kiss and slipping his warm hand into hers. "C'mere," he mumbled, the smile not leaving his face. His eyes were so comforting at the moment, Norma felt like she could melt._

 _As he led her into the dining room, she was washed over with emotion. She felt like she could cry. There sitting in the middle of the table was a large bowl of the penne she was looking for ealier. Except it seemed her dutiful husband had made some sort of sauce. There was also bread, wine, and a fancy looking salad. She turned to him and cocked her head with pride, "Alex…" she cooed, her dreamboat eyes filled with appreciation, "You did all this for me?"_

 _He nodded, "Anything for you baby," he responded, she leaned in to give him a hug. He felt good when he heard her silent sigh of relief that things were done. She pulled away with her arms still linked around his neck._

" _I just hope you can admire my culinary artistry. It's a penne pasta with a cajun cream sauce. There's also little pieces of chorizo in there. And I made my mom's salad recipe...it has feta and a garlic lime dressing," he explained, motioning to the various items perched on the table cloth._

" _I see," she said happily, "And how did you find ingredients in my cupboard to make all of these wonderful things?"_

" _Eh, I made some stops today," he answered, leaning over to pour her a glass of wine. Red. Her favorite. "And um- there's one more thing I wanted to show you before we have dinner."_

 _Slowly, he reached down to take her hand again, this time leading her outside the hidden kitchen door and into her small garden that she never got to use. Until now. The little seedlings and sprouts were standing out, especially through the glare of the porch light. She bent down to see the little marker, displaying what he had planted._

 _She could now feel the tears welling in her eyes, she moved back into upright positions to face him, "You planted me these?" she asked, he knew by the tone of her voice that she was overcome with emotion._

" _Lupins. Your favorite right?" he asked, looking into his eyes, Norma could tell that he did this all to make her truly happy. He knew her favorite flower. He also knew how badly she was itching to garden. He knew she was getting busier with the motel. And he knew she loved spring. It was when the flowers bloomed._

 _She kissed him immediately, turning up the heat. When she pulled away they were both breathless and he piped up. "I'll take that as a sign that you like em'," he laughed, tightening his grip around her waist._

" _I love them, Alex. I love you," she confessed, it wasn't the first time she told him, but this felt so much different. Earth shattering and cathartic._

" _Well, I love you too, baby."_

" _No...this is something else...I'm in love with you. It's like everything is okay now. You're holding me and we're good and nothing could change how I feel about you in this moment. I'm almost attached to you in a way, Alex. I just- I love you," she professed, and in her forty years gracing the planet, she'd never said anything to that magnitude to anyone. He was so much different. Her everyday and the last thing she thought of when she fell asleep. When she looked at him she heard classic love songs and saw happy chipper Sunday morning breakfast conversations. It was all different now. This was being in love with someone. This was having a partner._

 _He nodded and leaned in to kiss her. He never wanted to take his lips away from hers or let her go. After years of pining for this woman, his fantasies were coming true. She was saying things he'd never imagine that she'd say and he wouldn't have their relationship any other way. He was thrilled to call this woman his very own._

" _Well, if I'd known the damn flowers would yank this kind of a reaction out of you…" he started, warranting a warm belly laugh for her, "I'm in love with you. You make my world colorful, baby. That's why I keep you around."_

 _That was it for Norma. He was gonna be linked to her forever and no one would ever be able to break them apart. She was feeling things she'd never think to feel. True happiness. Uninhibited acceptance. Care from a human being that wasn't Norman. It was all so much to be grateful for. Whether it was being in the right place at the right time or God or whatever force was looking down on her, she was grateful for it. Because out of all the shitty dark places she'd been in, Alex stood out as the sun and all the stars. It was like the beginning of spring everyday. And it was glorious._

Norma pulled out her phone as she sat up in the bed and shot a final text for the night.

 **2:13 am** _Let's make a couple's therapy appointment for Thursday._

In her mind, it was time to bloom again.


	10. Chapter 9

As the week came around to a rainy Wednesday night, Norma sat and lotioned her legs perched on her cushioned vanity seat. She remembered the knock on her door from a few years back. Alex when he was only her faithful Sheriff Bulldog. She never knew how it'd turn out between them. It was filled with bumps and cracks and twists and turns. She sighed and picked up her phone, calling him.

"Norma?" he grumbled out over the other end. He was still in the motel on bedrest and watch because of his recent run in with the demons of cheap booze and anguish. His voice was filled with resentment and she tried not to react the way she wanted to.

"Alex. Hi...I needed to talk to you," she started, rising up from the seat and pacing around her room.

He wondered if it was another hook up. Did she want to break her dry spell with him? He grinned to himself, thinking he'd won some kind of fight. But it was too easy. And nothing with Norma... _his_ Norma, was never easy. "Is everything okay up there?" he asked, the protective side of him lurking about.

"Yeah, everything is fine," she lied, her world was always in shambles. And her emotions were all over the map. Nothing was fine, nothing was normal. And maybe that was okay. But she knew it had to be fixed. "I just need to ask you um- Are you busy tomorrow?"

She immediately felt stupid. Of course he wasn't busy, he was on bedrest. But it was a Thursday. She knew Alex never used to be at the office overtly late on a Thursday. She smiled to herself as her heart grew nostalgic...it used to be the day of their date nights. The smile faded as she remembered that she had to be professional here. Their situation couldn't be that easy. This was not a flashlight in a dark room. This was not a movie where the two characters kiss in the rain and jump into one another's arms. Norma knew that wasn't reality. It really wasn't a movie, they'd both screwed up.

"Uh- I don't know, the mattress has me pretty preoccupied for tomorrow morning. The afternoon or night is better," he said, she could hear the sarcasm oozing out of his voice. He'd been confined to that room for a while now. She felt no surprise towards his reaction.

"I'm sure it does," she laughed to herself, "Listen, I need you to meet me at the house around 6. I have something happening and I need you here for it."

The worst part of the conversation was that she was forcing herself to be pleasant towards the man she loved. They had to work out the kinks before anything else. But she knew that she had to smooth out a little bit of the gravel to get him to agree with her. Even though all she wanted to do was tear him a new one over the whole Rebecca thing.

"Did you kill someone?" he deadpanned, she knew he was joking but it was too soon. She rolled her eyes, knowing he couldn't see her reaction. She walked over to the window and watched his motel room.

"Alex listen...just come up here tomorrow at 6, okay?" she asked, running a finger through her locks as she waited.

"Whatever you want, Norma," he agreed with a huff. He hung up the phone and tossed it aside, putting his face in his hands. He wondered if there was a slight chance if Norma was going to seduce him. It was a total off chance.

She clicked her phone off and sat back on the coach with a huff. This was gonna be a rough patch.

Consider their conversation on the ride to Laura's office like trying to meddle a fussy four year old into a car seat. Norma didn't tell him where they were headed yet but made sure he was strapped in for the ride. She knew if she told him what was going on, he'd back out. He was private. So was she. It was a downfall, honestly. But luckily for her, she'd broke through those walls and talked to someone she trusted as a doctor. She let silent prayers cross her lips, wishing that Alex would take to her somehow.

They sat outside the brick building and all Alex had to see was the word doctor before turning towards her, his expression sour and his body language closed off immediately.

"What the hell, is this some kind of psycho analysis for my drinking? Because for the last time, I told you-"

She put her hand up and shook her head, "Stop it...just please, stop. You have to trust me here. I'm gonna be the bigger person and catch us in a safety net. But you have to come with me."

He huffed and held back the eyeroll, curiosity boiling up inside of him. She waited for him to exit the mercedes and walked them inside, to the destination in complete silence. Upon entering the office, Alex was still lost. He looked around and saw a muddle of certificates on the wall. All saying doctor. He was lost, shooting Norma a confused scowl.

"Norma-" he began before being cut off by the short haired blonde woman decked out in a sharp suit. She motioned for them to sit which his wife immediately did, as if on command. He was hesitant, raising an eyebrow at the strange woman.

"What is all this?" he asked, his defence growing strong.

Laura reached out a hand, "Hi. I'm Laura Whittier. I'm Norma's therapist and I asked if she'd like to do a meeting with the both of you today."

With no firm grip, he gave her the most enthusiastic handshake applicable, sitting down next to Norma and whispering, "Everything alright?"

His mind immediately shot back to the suicidal thoughts that had cursed her mind once Norman passed. It was rough...a heartbreaker to hear that his wife wanted to exit the earth to find solace. Not even his love and support could stop her from the mental torture she faced day in and day out and he felt guilty. After what she had done to him, he still felt guilty about not being able to help enough. Maybe if he had, they would be renewing vows with a happy and healthy baby in the picture. But those days were gone and those dreams were put to sleep.

"You and I both know that nothing is alright," Norma started with a sigh, "Laura is here to um- she's here to help us...heal. Together."

Alex looked to the doctor with his head cocked. "What does that mean?"

"Well, I've been working with Norma for a bit now. And she seems to have some things she wants to express to you. I want to help you both heal and ride the road to recovery together. Anything is possible, right?" she asked, rhetorically. She reached down and gave them both pieces of paper and two pens, sliding them across the desk equally. "Now, I want you both to do me a favor. Alex, I want you to write down in five words or less what your wife means to you. Norma, I want you to do the same. I'm not gonna read them aloud. And this isn't a test. Go."

After three minutes of silence, both of them folded up the paper and stuffed it into pockets. They looked at one another briefly and then back to the doctor, waiting for instructions. Laura took out her pad of paper and examined the two. She piped up, her eyes on Alex, "So, Alex, when did you fall in love with your wife?"

"Um…" he began, looking over to her without really trying to make eye contact. It was iffy, telling a complete stranger intimate details of their life and love. But if it meant getting his wife back and their relationship the way he'd always dreamed...he would tell all. "When she smiled at me. I knew there was something...a connection. The first night I met her I knew she'd be a hard one to shake off. When I put my mother's ring on her finger I knew she was mine and I guess that uh- that made me really happy."

She just nodded, jotting down the things he gave to her. "Thank you for sharing that with me. Norma, same thing...I want you to tell me when you really fell for your husband. When you knew you were in love," she said, knowing the answer because of the conversation they had the day before. She wanted Alex to know for reasons of humanity. Laura wanted to show that though the line was bitter and frosty, warmth could still be elicited.

Norma turned to Alex, trying to shield the emotion, "When you planted me the lupins that night before dinner. That's when I knew. I just thought of your selflessness and the way you loved me right back without me ever telling you and I guess I fell hard."

He had the urge to reach down and clutch her hand but he stopped himself, not wanting to break their rules. Even though this was an intimate thing, sitting across from a fucking therapist and spilling their feelings for one another was one of the most intimate things they'd done in their time with one another. Instead, he shot her a meaningful nod, reflecting to how happy those flowers had made her.

"Very nice, you two," Laura exclaimed, casting her paper aside, "Now I'm gonna throw a curveball at you. When did you know you were still in love with one another?"

Alex rose an eyebrow in confusion, "Wait...still in love with each other? I'm lost I don't-"

"Norma told me about everything. She told me about all the bumps in the road that you two e counter. And I'm just curious, after all the heartache and anger you two have embraced each other with...why are you still seeing each other? There has to be a connection, a human connection, of some kind, right? So where does that stem from? How'd you know when you were still in love with the person you once showed so much animosity for?" she asked, crossing her legs and eyeing down the pair.

"I mean...I guess my continuous love for him comes from a place of missing his presence. I miss him lying in bed next to me at night and talking to me over dinner and calling me all the pet names he did before. It's hard to live without that kind of love," Norma expressed, forcing herself to look at the side of her husband's face. She knew this wasn't easy for him to hear or experience.

"I find it hard to believe, Norma. Why do we have rules, hm? Because I'm 1000% sure that we would be stumbling back into a respectful relationship if we didn't follow this bullshit structure," he spat. His heart was soaring with the knowledge that Norma still loved him. However, it was confusing at the same time.

"Let's not be hasty, Alex," Laura said, trying to hold back the feisty rage she could feel coming off his body, "When you say rules...what are you referring to?"

"Sure, doc. Let me break this down for you. Norma here created these rules. They're basically sexual guidelines. When we sleep together, I have to wear a condom at all times even though she has the little stick in her arm that keeps any babies out of the picture. We aren't allowed to kiss or hug or really touch. We can't do missionary because it's too romantic. And no lovey dovey stuff. It's essentially the least sexual form of intercourse you can have with another person," he explained, his voice letting off bouts of sarcasm and anger.

Laura shot him a quick nod and looked to her female patient, "Norma, would you like to explain why these rules are in place?"

She sighed and ran a hand over her face, the nerves coming to bite her right in the pit of the stomach, "Because...I was scared. I didn't want to fall back in love, not after every loss I had. Not when I couldn't show myself love or care. I tried to cut all intimacy with him because I was scared that I couldn't handle it."

The doctor looked to Alex, "And do you want intimacy with your wife? Do you want that love back?"

He nodded, "Yeah. Of course. I miss that too...it's um- it's been rough...without her."

Alexander Romero had never been one with words or romanticisms. But he'd be absolutely damned if he let his own wife slip away from him. He'd never let it happen. Not in one million years.

"Well then, I have your first assignment for the week," she said, closing her notebook. "Before I give it to you, I want you both to trade papers with one another. The one's from earlier. Don't read them now. Read them when your apart."

The pair traded papers and stuffed them back into various pockets, each heart beating at the prospect of what was on the crinkled up sheet.

"Okay...for this week, I want you two to go on a date. Simple. No flowers. No hearts. This isn't some makeshift Valentine's Day. Just go on a simple married person outing. See how it goes. How it feels. Then I want the both of you right back here in my office and we're gonna discuss. Sound like a plan?"

They both nodded slowly, both wanting to reject but also jump for joy at the idea of spending time together. Something they hadn't done without confrontation in a long while.

With the good doctors devotion and guidance, this was bound to bloom with prosperity.

When Alex reached his car, his hands were sweaty.

When he was finally strapped into the driver's seat, he shuffled his hand around in his swishy pockets.

His heart beats quickened the pace as he read his wife's swirly handwriting.

 _The sun and moon and stars._

All fights and anger and hatred combined and he still meant all of those things to her?

With a heavy foot on the gas, he drove with a hazy halo circling around him.

He was still hers.

As Norma sat in the seat of her vintage baby blue automobile, she picked the paper out of her skirt pocket.

She looked up to the sun before taking a deep breath, opening it slowly.

In her stomach there was a nauseas knot, in her head there were rays of light.

 _Everything._

That was it...she still meant everything to him.

She clutched the note to her heart and silently thanked whoever heard her prayers at night.

With a hopeful smile, she started the car.


	11. Chapter 10

Later that week when Norma heard her phone chime, she was greeted with a text from Alex.

 _ **Where we going?**_

The sentence alone gave her flashbacks to the night he asked that very question to her near their staircase. She'd told him everything about Caleb, Dylan's conception...all the bad and scary things that she was terrified to unleash to another soul besides her sons. And he essentially told her he'd follow her anywhere she went. It was just another moment when she knew her heart was soaring for this man. She took a deep breath and made a recommendation. It was hard having to be the bigger person but she was managing. Having Alex was so much greater than potential cracks of petty behavior that threatened to seep through her surface.

When they agreed on a location, both hearts were soaring and both stomachs were churning with anxiety. It was like being a teenager again, just with more emotional scarring...if that was even possible for the pair. Through the process, Norma kept reminding herself that love was always gonna win.

When the faithful night finally rolled around, she donned a dress that Alex had never seen her in before. One that she had just purchased that afternoon impulsively. She wanted to impress him. Her husband. The one she was technically still legally bound to. The stakes were different this time though, new, fresh. It was more low cut and short than what she'd normally wear. The garment made her look like somewhat of a vixen. A tight, red, silky get up with a sharp slit neckline. Her thighs were almost on display. She was sure that it would get Alex's attention. As she ran her hands down the fabric to smooth out the creases, she wondered what he would ear. Was he gonna clean up and impress? Or would he toss on some jeans and a flannel?

She made sure to curl her hair and pop on her best pair of high heels. She spritzed the perfume on her wrist and tossed her clutch over her shoulder. With one last look in the mirror, she said a silent prayer hoping that it would all work out and that the two could find each other through the storm. Love always had a way, right?

Alex stood in front of the mirror, something he'd never done before. Though he wasn't an arrogant human being, he'd never doubted his appearance. He was blessed with his father's olive complexion and his mother's deep bruting brown eyes. He ran a hand over his bushy brown hair and realized the slight grays coming through the sides. His stomach received a small pinch in the very pit. The realization slid up beside him in that moment...he was getting older. And when you grow, you crave a lover. Someone to spend all your time with. Someone to cherish all of the happy moments with. Someone who will love you no matter what.

Then he took a seat on his bed and let the thoughts roll through his weary mind. He was so tired of fighting with Norma. He wanted to fall asleep next to her and wake up the same way. He wanted to hear her sing show tunes in the shower again. He wanted the surprise work visits in the middle of the say. He was in love. And though it didn't seem true, he was eternally grateful to his wife for making the first move. She was the one that brought him to therapy and wanted to fix things. It made his heart swell really. With a final deep inhale, he rose from the bed and headed outside. It was time to talk.

When the two linked eyes in front of the restaurant that they had their very first dinner date at, they gave one another the up and down. Alex was astounded at her look...it was sexy. Completely off scale from the vintage fair she typically dressed in. Though he loved her 60's working woman attire, he could also appreciate the clingy fabric and silk garment that she was wrapped in now. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

She gave a casual toss of her curls and pretended not to revel in her husbands suit and tie. Somewhere inside of her, the butterflies were waking from their slumber. It felt real again. It felt like the bubble was waiting for them to walk inside of it. But she knew it would take more effort than that.

"Alex...you look nice," she said, trying to stay as simple as possible. She didn't necessarily want any hard or deep feelings to come out on their first test.

"Thanks," he returned with a half smile, "You look beautiful. I like that dress."

If she wasn't mistaken, she could hear the flirtation coming out of him. She liked it. They hadn't been so innocent with one another in so long and it was nice. Better than bitter energy and screaming matches.

As they walked inside, his hand grazed her lower back. That was a fond memory too, protective. Always protective. When they sat and looked over the menu, Norma piped up and decided to try small talk.

"So, how's the station?" she asked, sipping a much needed glass of wine that the waiter placed in front of her. She figured the alcohol would give her some confidence.

"Draining, actually. I had to seize a property today. It was this big, beautiful house. A family too. They had so much debt, we had no choice. Day's like today really make me hate what I do," he confessed, sipping at his water and wishing it were booze.

"I'm sorry. I know it's hard for you to play the bad guy. Sheriff Bulldog doesn't always like to howl, does he?" she joked with a starry eyed grin. It made her husband's heart soar and she had no idea.

He shook his hand and toyed with the menu flaps, "No he doesn't. What about you? How are things going with the motel?"

"I'm making the decision to sell it, actually," she admitted, keeping her eyes trained to the tablecloth. It wasn't an easy thing to do, but she knew it was best for her mental health. Too many bad reminders and overwhelming responsibilities.

"Really?" he asked, shocked at her admission, "But summer's coming and I knew that place will be booked up. You could wait it out and ring in some of the money, right? Makes more sense to sell it during a dead month, y'know? And what about the house?"

"You have a point. And I've really been thinking about it. I just...I don't have a motel manager anymore and it's so tiring to do all that stuff by myself. With the booking and the file sorting and crunching numbers. Not to mention, I'm the maid and the cook. It's all just...it's too much. And it's even harder without Norman there. It's a constant reminder that I don't wanna see everyday anymore. I wanna sell the house too. It's a lot of upkeep and I think I want to live smaller now," she explained. It felt good to tell Alex everything that's been going on in her mind. It was almost like having a partner again.

He just nodded, it was something she'd talked about doing during her battle with depression after Norman's death. He knew he'd always encourage his wife to push for the best outcome and this did seem like a good idea. Maybe it would take away from some of her sadness over the loss of Norman. "Where are you thinking about going?" he asked, wishing he could just move her into his old place.

"I don't know yet. I've been looking like crazy. I figure if I sell the house fully furnished with the motel included, I can get a good amount of money out of it. Maybe I'll get an apartment or something...it's all still up in the air."

"Well...if something happens, you can always stay with me," he offered, hoping she'd say yes.

"I suppose. That is...if the banker isn't already there?" she said, it came out innocently but the second it'd slipped from her lips, her head sent a smoke signal. She fucked up. She could feel it. And based on the look he gave her, her feelings were confirmed.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked, his voice now sharp and low. He gave her that bruting look she was used to. The same one he'd give her the first year she moved to the town. The stern angry look that she was so excited to forget seeing when they fell in love.

"I uh-" she started, taking a comical breath and widening her eyes. She knew she had to get a hold on her anger. So she calmed down a bit before speaking, "I saw her. The redhead. Rebecca...I saw her car outside of your motel room the other night."

There was enough screaming. Norma wanted to try a new approach. She wanted honesty and she knew damn well Alex would spring up and leave if she got loud. They'd fail the assignment and be back to square one.

"So you did," he said, turning his head from her and cursing himself. He felt like he'd ruined everything in that moment. "It didn't mean anything."

She stayed silent for a minute, her chest growing red with anger. She wanted so badly to unleash it, "So why do it then, Alex? Why would you fuck her 50 feet from our old home?" she accused, her voice growing louder but not on an embarrassing level.

He scoffed, "You're gonna sit here right now and tell me you haven't screwed a single other soul but me since our separation, Norma?"

Fuck. It was like he could see right through her, "I'm not saying that. I'm not. But if it were any other girl…"

"If it were any other girl we'd still have problems. There would still be anger and sadness. That's why we're getting help," he said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "You think I'm comfortable with some other guy putting his hands all over you? Screwing you? No. I'm not. I wanna find the person you slept with and kill them. So I guess we're even, right?"

"That girl broke into my home and destroyed my property. She basically followed you around this town and antagonized you for marrying me. You yourself said you hated her. Mine was just some stranger I met in a bar," she lied, not wanting to tell him about Laura. She knew it would make a larger fire then the one they were already trying to put out.

"It. Didn't. Mean. Anything," he emphazied, sighing. He knew he'd never win with Norma. It was an ongoing battle. He was so ready to just lay all the cards out on the table, "She was there for maybe fifteen minutes and left, it's not like we were intimate. It was just sex."

"Just sex, Alex?" she asked, shaking her head, "Sex is intimate. I don't care how you put it. And the idea of you and her together-"

"Listen to me right now," he growled, reaching across the table to take her hand, "We are not together. We never were together. I fucked her on and off with no feelings because she was a simple distraction from you. I wanted you all those years but you never saw it and I never made the move, okay? She means absolutely nothing to me. I had her in my motel room and said your name when we were in the middle of it. She got mad and left."

"My name?" she asked, baffled. She knew he loved her but desire was different. She liked to know that she was there in his mind even when she wasn't. And that he wanted her that much. It was kinda hot.

"I don't want anyone else, Norma. I want you."


End file.
